Read a Book Day: 'Bye, Bye Bully'

September 6 is National Read a Book Day, and I chose to read "Bye, Bye Bully."

I bought two copies online—one for myself and another for my teenage niece, who wanted to transfer to a new school this year because of a bully.

Having experienced bullying at various points in my own life, I know firsthand that it is not an experience limited to young people. However, young victims often find it far more difficult to cope with such destructive behavior.

My earliest memory of being bullied dates back to when I was five years old and living in Australia. At the time, my father worked for a car company in Geelong, and our family lived in an apartment complex in Cedar Grove, Highton. 

My brother and I loved playing in the backyard. One afternoon, while I was outside picking oranges by myself, a boy attacked me from behind. 

He slammed me to the ground, forcibly stripped off my windbreaker, and used it to strangle me. I kept pleading with him to stop until I couldn't breathe and passed out.

I later woke up at home. My mother explained that a kind Australian woman had spotted me lying unconscious on the ground and carried me home. 

From that point on, photographs show me constantly clutching a plushie for comfort—my favorite being a large rabbit wearing black pants and a tie. That plushie was so special to me that I brought it along when our family moved back to the Philippines.

Decades later, my husband Riz brought me to Makati Medical Center for a checkup because I was experiencing persistent neck pain. 

An X-ray revealed a slightly dislocated bone in my neck, prompting the doctor to ask if I had ever been in a severe accident. 

When I recounted the childhood incident in Australia, he confirmed that it was the most likely cause. The physical and psychological scars of bullying can truly last a lifetime.

Over the years, I have encountered several distinct types of bullies:

The "Deadma" Bullies: Those who deliberately ignore you and treat you as if you are invisible or unimportant.

The "Bastos" Bullies: Those who are openly rude, hostile, and unkind.

The "Tsismis" Bullies: Those who spread malicious lies and cruel rumors behind your back.

The "Paawa" Bullies: Those who cause harm, yet skillfully manipulate the narrative to play the victim themselves.

Insights from "Bye, Bye Bully"

The book Bye, Bye Bully: A Kid's Guide for Dealing with Bullies was written by J.S. Jackson, published by One Caring Place/Abbey Press in 2003, and distributed locally by Paulines Press—the publishing arm of the Daughters of Saint Paul.

According to the book, approximately 75 percent of students experience bullying, which it defines as the malicious torment of a child. "Almost everybody is bullied at some time in his [or her] life," the author notes. Yet, despite how common it is, no one ever deserves to be treated that way.

The author also highlights gender differences in behavior: "Generally, boys tend to employ physical power (pushing, hitting, arm-twisting) while girls hurt others through social power (teasing, gossiping, or rumor spreading)."

To protect ourselves, we must learn to identify bullies early. "You can tell bullies more by how they act than by how they look," Jackson explains. The long-term consequences are severe: victims are prone to depression and low self-esteem later in life, while perpetrators often carry their abusive tendencies into adulthood.

The book notes that bullies "are more likely to engage in criminal activity." 

Out of curiosity, I once Googled my childhood attacker's name and found several news reports about a man with the exact same name being sentenced to life in prison for murdering his girlfriend. 

Whether it was actually him or a tragic coincidence, I still cringe thinking about what might have happened to me that day if that Australian woman hadn't intervened.

Practical Strategies for Coping

Bye, Bye Bully offers several actionable strategies for handling bullies:

(1) Stand up for yourself and project confidence. This reminded me of advice my father gave me when I was preparing to leave home for college: Never be afraid to speak up and stand up to anybody if you know you are speaking the truth.

(2) Stay out of harm's way. Recognizing early warning signals can help prevent further harm. 

Bullying manifests across a wide spectrum—from subtle tactics like exclusion and cold shoulders, to severe behaviors like coercion, physical harm, and sexual assault. 

It also extends into digital spaces through cyberbullying, where perpetrators use the internet to intimidate, humiliate, or send threats.

(3) Visualize a "Safety Cloud" and maintain control. The book suggests asking God to place a protective "Safety Cloud" around you. 

We must not let bullies control our emotions. Bullies seek specific reactions—they want us to cry, run away, or feel defeated. As the book advises: "If you want to stop a bully, try not to act the way the bully wants you to."

(4) Seek help immediately. "When a bully is hurting someone, you need to tell a grown-up," the author writes. Speaking up to an authority figure or trusted person is essential for protection and safety.

Bullying remains an urgent global issue. 

In the Philippines, the House of Representatives recently approved a proposal designating September of every year as "National Bullying Awareness and Prevention Month." 

Internationally, October is observed as "National Bullying Prevention Month" to promote inclusion, empathy, and kindness in schools worldwide.

-Veronica Velarde-Pulumbarit/Paraluman News