CULTURE CURRENT: No longer pressured by algorithms, Bella Poarch writes with honesty and vulnerability

Millions of people know Bella Poarch as the viral TikTok star behind the 2021 hit single, "Build a Bitch," which scored the biggest debut for a new artist in YouTube history with more than 75 million views in its opening week, according to Warner Records.

But long before TikTok made her one of the internet's biggest stars, the 29-year-old Filipino American was a teenager who left home at 17 and served in the US Navy. She was an aspiring musician uploading singing videos online in the hope that somebody, somewhere in the industry, might notice.

Her debut album, “Picnic at the Cemetery,” is in many ways the story of her younger self. After years of singles and online fame, the record revisits the experiences that shaped Poarch long before algorithms entered the picture.

Speaking to Reuters in London, Poarch reflects on identity, vulnerability, and showing a side of herself that people don't normally see.

This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Why was now the right time to make a full-length album?

I feel like I've grown a lot as an artist. My taste has evolved and I've surrounded myself with really creative, encouraging people. I'm also in a much better headspace than when I released my EP “Dolls.”

“Picnic at the Cemetery” is very personal, so it was important for me to be in a good place before putting it out.

Why did "Picnic at the Cemetery" feel like the right title for this chapter of your life?

I've had that title for about five years. It's probably the best description of me as a person because I love contrasts. I love dark things, but I also love hope. The bitter and the sweet, the light and the dark.

In the Philippines, we have a tradition on All Saints' Day where families gather at cemeteries and spend time together. But to me it also means revisiting buried trauma and memories I've pushed down for a long time and being able to sit with them now. Without those experiences, I wouldn't be who I am today.

Which song was the hardest to write?

"Garden.” It wasn't difficult to write technically, but it was difficult emotionally. It's about being okay with being loved. I still struggle with trust because of my childhood. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve love, and that makes it hard to let people get close to me.

I was crying so much while writing it that I switched from paper to my notes app because I didn't want to soak the page with tears.

How different is the Bella Poarch who made this album from the Bella Poarch who released "Build a Bitch"?

I don't think I'd be having this conversation if I was still in that headspace. I was much more introverted. I've changed as a person and my taste in music has changed too. I've listened to so many amazing artists over the years and they've helped me build my own sound.

Did you ever feel pressure to make music that would work on social media?

In the beginning, definitely. I wanted to write songs that would go viral. "Build a Bitch" was catchy and even the title felt unexpected. But now I'm not worried about whether a song will do well on social media. I care more about whether it's authentic.

I'm writing from honesty and vulnerability. Music helped me through difficult periods in my life, and I'd love to be that artist for somebody else.

When did you realise you wanted to build something that could outlive the algorithm?

Music was always the goal. The first video I ever posted on TikTok was actually me singing. It got 100 views and I deleted it. I never really wanted to blow up on social media. That happened by accident. What I hoped would happen was that somebody in music world would discover me.

When the viral video happened, I thought maybe this would give me a chance to make music.

Do you think being seen is the same as being understood?

No. With music, I feel like I'm being seen, but not fully understood.

The only way somebody can understand the full story behind a song is if I sit down and tell them everything that happened.

What's harder to earn today: attention or respect?

Respect. I don't think people are always willing to give that away.

Which song on the album tells your story better than any interview could?

"Stay Gone." It's about walking away from home when I was 17.

You also get to see the version of me that people don't normally see. It's serious, but it's also playful and weird. That song feels the most like me.

Your life has taken you from the Philippines to the US Navy to internet fame. Which chapter shaped you the most?

Leaving home at 17. It was the best decision I ever made for myself. And honestly, it was the happiest day of my life.

You've announced your first headline tour, which kicks off in the US in late January before heading to Britain and Europe in March. What do you want people to take away from it?

Hope. That's always the answer. I struggle with depression and some of the artists I love helped me through difficult moments because they gave me hope.

Whether it's through a song or a live show, that's what I want people to leave with.

What's next?

More music. I'd also love to produce for other artists. This album was very much my story, but I'd love to collaborate more in the future. That's something I'm really excited about.

Disclaimer: The perspectives expressed in Culture Current are the subject’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Reuters News and Paraluman News.

Editing by Yasmeen Serhan and Aurora Ellis/Reuters